"For as long as I can remember, anxiety was my companion. As a young child, it showed up as severe separation anxiety where, even in the safety of my own home, my mother couldn't leave my sight without me hysterically screaming. By age 12, I had an ulcer and my anxiety morphed into constant worry about getting other diseases because various symptoms convinced me that I was developing a horrible illness. As time went on, I spent years experiencing out-of-the-blue panic attacks that were marked by an overwhelming feeling of impending doom, shaking, sweating, nausea, sleeplessness, and an overriding fear that I was going to die.
Talk therapy was a good start and it helped me in my journey of sorting through the layers of my thoughts and emotions. My super-high anxiety was reduced a bit, but simply questioning these unreasonable thoughts did not create rock-solid, lasting inner peace. This was like trying to plug a leaky, corroded pipe. One fearful thought might retreat, but then another would shift the fear somewhere else. For example, my fear of blood and needles diminished, but I couldn't fly without a tranquilizer. Another method I practiced was deep breathing, but again, this only brought a moment of relief before the displaced fear would just break through somewhere else.
I am definitely pro-therapy, but in the end I found that the core of my anxiety stemmed from a place that required a spiritual remedy. I needed a fundamental shift in the way I saw the world. The way I was seeing it constantly frightened me. I needed a miracle. And this miracle had to come from within me.